ooops

Been a while eh... it's been an emotionally charged month or so and because of this I didn't feel I could write anything that wouldn't have an "emotional" edge to it. Build-up to Christmas, Christmas, post-Christmas, New Year, family dramas, excessive drinking and eating - no wonder we're all in a slump in January.

So let me begin with "Happy New Year", I hope it really is a good year for you and your nearest.  So what's happened since I last saw you?  The aromatic Christmas tree is now in the back garden and we're trying to bring a dead tree back to life by sticking it in two feet of compost.  The new business idea came to a crashing halt.  If there's one thing I have learnt is that you need to be passionate about whatever venture you take on.  I was interested in making my business idea work but I don't ever remember getting that excited about it.  Plus I'm very good at putting stuff together but I lose interest soon after, which doesn't bode well.  Most importantly there really wasn't a market there for us and I think it would have been a lot of effort for little return.

What now?  Good point, I really don't know.  I'm looking at maybe taking an adult education course, something quite heavy and time consuming but I may have left this to late to enrol.  A few jobs have come up but back to "passionate", didn't really feel that passionate about any of them.  Which brings me back to the reason I started this blog, I thought by smashing my thoughts on paper I'd finally bring myself round to what direction I should take.  I envy people who are passionate about their work, who really get excited about where their job is taking them.  I want that but I just don't know what that job is.  I'm in a great position at the moment whereby I've been allowed to think this through, I just hope I get there soon.

Finally we're going to look at a property tomorrow.  I'm excited, this looks like our kind of place and it's overlooking huge parkland and has a little village atmosphere on the doorstep but it's still in London.

Before I sign off, I'd like to thank a chap called Aaron who posted on my blog last night.  It dragged me out of my January slump and got these fingers typing.

"Halston"

Blues

I'm a dreadful blogger.  Almost four whole weeks since I've composed a single word - which isn't exactly true as I've started to write stuff but it seemed so depressing, so I thought not.  This time of year is a funny one, the excitement of Christmas mixed in with dark mornings and short bursts of sunlight.

I don't think I suffer from SAD but I do think it's at this time of year when your thoughts tend to be with friends and family who may not be having the best of times for lots of reasons.  Of course it's not all been doom and gloom, there have been birthday parties, a few impromptu drinks here and there and one or two unsuccessful shopping trips.

Also there was the annoying throat/chesty thing that felled me, which was completely my own fault and one that has only come about since smoking was banned in pubs - yes I'm blaming someone else for my teenage behaviour of having a quick fag in the freezing cold!  It's an annual thing now and the sensible thing is to stop which I have but only because I can't bear the hacking/choking in the middle of the night.  I know, terribly attractive.  The gym consequently had to be put on hold and my backside resumed it's usual heavy load. However yesterday after a hackless night's sleep I hit the gym and we're back on track - I feel loads better.

So last night we bought our Christmas tree, it's of the aromatic and non-drop kind of tree and my god it's lovely.  There's nothing fun about putting a tree up with two people who can be as OCD as Mr C and I are (please note this doesn't apply to everything in our lives, hence the reason we don't live in a show home!).  Anyway after a lot of "a little to the left, a little on the right" a lot of "just let me do it!!" and a bottle of Prosecco we finished the job.  It's very lovely and I just went to have another look at it while I was making a cup of tea.

Finally went to see Terence Rattigan's The Deep Blue Sea on Monday night.  It's set in early 1950's London, probably Hampstead and is beautifully shot.  It's not an upbeat film and could or has been a stage play.  Rachel Weisz who I think is such a brilliant and beautiful actress is amazing and at some point I thought I was looking at a young Charlotte Rampling.  Films like this always bring me out of whatever slump I may be in, the story may be pained but sometimes with films like this, they really are a thing of beauty and it was as if I was watching an artist paint a picture and the end result made my heart soar.